TW: eating disorder
“I didn’t have any problems with my weight when I was young. Everything changed around class 5. I started gaining weight, and my self-esteem dropped. At the time, there was not a lot of social media exposure, but to be thin, tall, and fair was to be beautiful. My classmates would call me names. I was an introvert and soaked in everything they said. I wasn’t able to talk to any guys and had only 2 or 3 friends. I often ran back home and cried. I wouldn’t participate in sports and had intense stage fright because I was afraid they’d see my body. What helped was that I was a bright student, so I focused on my studies. My parents and friends gave me unconditional love. But deep down, I was still sad. In college, I was more exposed to social media. It is so heavily influencing. In my mind, ‘beauty’ was what was shown on social media. I wanted to look like the girls in the movies. I got carried away trying to lose weight. I would go to the gym, do zumba, and starve myself every night. I compared myself to ‘pretty’ girls, and felt like I wasn’t good enough for society. I also started the bad habit of eating and purging. In 4 months I lost 20 kgs. I was diagnosed with severe gastritis problems and had to drink a prescribed pain relief fluid to reduce my heartburn. Even then, I didn’t stop trying to lose weight. After a few days, I sprained a muscle from exercise. For ten days I couldn’t even walk with my back straight. It was only then time that I realised I was overdoing it. I switched to watching motivational videos, and turned on a positive mindset.

I started following body-positive women. I started wearing what I liked. With time, people started complimenting me on how confident I seemed. My best friend convinced me to start my current blog, especially since there were no other plus-sized Bhutanese fashion bloggers. I was quite nervous to start but a week in I started receiving DMs from total strangers. They saw in me what they didn’t elsewhere- representation. My blog is all about body positivity, confidence, and self-love. I focus on outfits and clothes because when I was younger, I would want to dress a certain way but my thoughts would tell me it would only fit slimmer girls. I am a totally different person now. I am an extrovert, and am much more fun than before. I don’t think my classmates would even recognise me. If you want to wear an outfit that makes you happy, you have to do it. That’s what I’m trying to teach my followers. Prioritise your mental health, and don’t think about what society says.”


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