Sangay Loday


“People often ask me how I’m happy all the time. The truth is that I used to practice smiling in the mirror when I was depressed. I’d read that we could confuse our bodies into producing happy chemicals. It’s now a habit.

I had suicidal thoughts at a very young age. My first suicide attempt was in primary school. I got suspended for 4 days for writing something offensive on the blackboard. Then, I got a 4/100 in my Dzongkha Midterms. Everyone was mad but no one asked why. Why had I gotten into trouble and performed so badly? The second attempt came soon after, inspired by the popular crime patrol series. But both times, I spit out what I’d taken. It didn’t feel right. Years later, in class 8, I discovered self-harm. I sat next to a broken window in class and no one noticed the cuts I made on my arm. I know I was depressed because I had to try hard to feel happy. I was closed off. I’ve recently started therapy and realized a lot. My therapist says we teach people how to treat us. I let people ignore and mistreat me because I didn’t see myself as a priority.

We also need to be vulnerable. I finally opened up to someone after I found myself contemplating suicide again in 2020, years after my last attempt. I loved writing about my feelings and they asked if I’d written about the good things. This piece of advice changed my life. I started writing and realizing who I was and all of the flaws that made me a better person. Mental health facilities are present but the first step is for us to decide that we want to communicate.

I’d developed eating disorders too and suffered from body dysmorphia. I’ve finally developed a good relationship with myself. My flaws make me different and although scary, it makes us unique. I’m now proud of all that I do and all that I am. I am interning with HoT and volunteering with queer groups and other organisations. I hope to go to college on my own terms in the future and become a queer advocate. I don’t know my permanent plan, but I trust the steps that I take and I want to enjoy the process.”

Humans of Thimphu with YPEER Asia Pacific Center -Ypeer AP celebrates this young person and their empowered journey with mental health.

🎙 Learn more about Sangay’s journey on the HoT Podcast episode 5 at…

#HumansofThimphu #HumanStories #MHEmpowermentForEveryone


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