“My grandparents took care of me after my parents separated. When my grandfather died, my ideas of love and family were shattered. I was young and struggled greatly with the loss. From then on, I stayed with my father and stepmother. I had no extreme conflict with my stepmother and only the usual arguments with my step-siblings. My childhood was happy and full of structure. My biological mother was compassionate and beautiful, but she was an alcoholic. I wish I could have done something to make things better for her. She struggled a lot with her marriages. It could have been the alcohol habit, the choice of men, or simply ley namkoe (karma).

I got a very good job after graduation. At this time, my mother had remarried and was pregnant. I hoped that the baby might change her drinking problem. With consistent advice from doctors, relatives and friends, she did manage to control it and things finally seemed to be falling into place. Which is why I’ll never forget the morning her husband called me, telling me she had given the child away. I was speechless. I rushed in to ask her why, where, and to whom? It was incredibly painful. Somehow, I tracked down the baby and the guardians were kind enough to return the baby. Things went downhill for my mother after this. Her marriage fell apart again, and she lost her home. When she was sober, it was wonderful, but those moments were few and far between. It became increasingly difficult to help her as she didn’t want to get better. A few years later, she passed away and we lost touch with her baby’s father. I faced a set of difficulties: registering the baby and balancing my personal and professional life. But I got through it following my heart and intuition.

In the end, it was worth the fight. Some of my friends and relatives say that the baby and I share the same eyes and smile. I call the baby “my child”. My child is healthy and beautiful, sleeps in my arms, is the most perfect thing I have ever seen, who has recently turned 8.

The only thing I wonder is, how do I narrate this story to my child?”

*Images in this post are just graphic representation and not the actual subject (or) is not related to the story. Photo by

MyBhutan

 

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