“My parents spent just one night together and that’s when I was conceived. My father didn’t stay because he was with someone else at the time. My mother brought me up and put me through school. I didn’t qualify in class 10 so she put me in a private school in Thimphu. I couldn’t find a career after class 12, and my mother was also not well, so I moved back to Bumthang.

People would say that I had no father and that I was unwanted. My mother initially refused to acknowledge that I was born out of wedlock, but as I got asked more frequently, I had to have an answer. I was sad that I couldn’t even write my father’s name down for class activities or when people asked me for it. All my friends had a father figure. There wasn’t much stigma my mother had to face because our village had quite a few single mothers. But there weren’t many only children like me; most mothers had two or more children. My mother struggled so much and seeing that made me sad. She was left alone doing work in the village while I went to school. There was no one to help her with errands or housework.

My schools said they needed my father’s ID information. I panicked because I didn’t know how to obtain his information. We didn’t have any contact with him and I was scared to tell my mother. I have friends who couldn’t provide copies of their parent’s IDs because of complicated family situations. In the end, my mother had to go to the gewog office and send me his details directly.

Although we struggled a lot, our story has a happy ending. I am married now and a mother. My mother goes to Thimphu every month for a check-up, but now I can take care of the house. You understand your parent’s struggles once you become a parent. Only now do I know how much my mother sacrificed, and how much she cared for me. I used to be resentful and angry. When my mother was tired from doing all her work she would be frustrated with me too. But as an adult, and as a mother, I understand her much better.

For all those without a parent, it’s okay. You should be confident; even without them, you can still achieve everything you want.”

#HumansofThimphu #HumanStories #Thimphu


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